Thoughts : Ambitions and Me

Recently, my teacher just gave me and my friends our report cards for the mid semester test. Most of my friends in class looked unsatisfied with their results. They complain about the test which was very difficult, and one of our teachers that seemed like not fair with the scores.

Well, I got disappointed too. My school grade isn’t really good, I got 4 value below 75 with 100 is the maximal value. It’s not the best or even something I wanted to have. It is not good for my grades, means it is not good for my future.

But, I only need a couple minutes to get rid of my disappointment. I realize that I was not working hard enough to deserve a good grade. My study spirit has been increased since last year, and I notice it. That is why I was not hoping too much for the report I would get. And that also why I could forget my disillusion and easy to get distracted with other things quickly.

And that, makes me realise something today.

Disenchantment they expressed in their faces and words have aware me of a contrast between me and them. It’s just a little thing, but it inflicted a lot of differences. They have something I don’t have; which is specific ambitions.

Ambition to have a good grade. Ambition to go to the best universities. Ambition to have a job which suit with their passion and can produce a lot of money. Ambition to have a better life.

While, I only have a pretension to have a better life. I don’t have those specific ambitions with grades or universities or jobs. I don’t even decided yet what proffession I want to be in the future.

I am lack of passion. I am lack of ambition.

It brings me to a fact that my future is still in an abstract form. I lived too long as someone who careless about problems and want to live happily ever after without struggle. I’ve been underestimate passion and ambition, unaware that I need them for the whole of my life. 

I don’t know what course I’ll take for my college, I don’t know what job I’ll take for my life. I have no idea about bolts and skewdriver, when everyone already build their aeroplane to fly.

Aware of this fact brings me to a horrific feeling. A disappointment of my self, more than what my friends felt after have bad scores.

– Mar


3 respons untuk ‘Thoughts : Ambitions and Me

  1. Long time back, I was also lost like you.

    I wanted to do something but don’t know what to do.

    I just prayed to God, to show me the way, I was demotivated, dejected and lost. I went into depression.

    However, than help arrives, I was sitting in office and just looking at the screen. An email arrived with a speech. It moved me a lot it gave me a new sense of hope and determination.

    I took 3 days off, went to my room since I was living alone at that time. And than I got hold of that speech.

    It was Steve Job graduation speech on passing out at Stamford. I am talking about year 2007. When he just started and Apple started to boom.

    I advise you to watch it with empty head, and watch it for 3 – 5 times.

    Put a piece of paper in front of you. Don’t let anyone, disturb you at that time. And ask yourself question:

    – What God gave you as a gift, every person on earth has some special gift, we just need to explore it.

    – What you can do with it.

    – Who can help you in Polish and mentor you in that gift.

    – How you can serve the humanity with that gift.

    These are deep questions and not straight.

    Take plenty of time to answer it. Think deep, with open heart and ask very close people around you indirectly as to what they find special in you. After you find your Gift of life.

    Trust me your life will be way different.

    If you find any issue, let me know, I will help you.

    Disukai oleh 1 orang

    1. Thank you for your advice! And sorry not to reply this sooner, I was having another thing back then. But this is really mean a lot for me. Glad to know someone who was having same condition found a solution and have a better life now.

      If you don’t mind, where did you watch the speech? maybe you can give me the link of the video.

      I really appreciate yout help 🙂 and thank you for sharing! :)))

      Disukai oleh 1 orang

      1. YouTube just search for Steve Job commencement speech Stanford, he advice 3 things.

        Than Matthew Mcconaugthey Oscars speech he recently delivered, that is something awesome as well.

        I have listened to many, but these stands above from everything else.

        If you need any help at any point if time. You know how to contact me.


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